to make a life that fulfills your entire being. We don't have control over anything outside of us anyway, so why shouldn't we work to fulfill ourselves and truly thrive?

In this post to kick off The Free Will Resolution Month, we will be defining and learning how to use Free Will to take back our power and truly learn to thrive. Because I believe everyone can learn how to thrive, and we all deserve to thrive, not just live. That's why I write and record content so we all learn together. So get comfy with your favorite beverage, something to take notes with, and prepare to grab the oars.

Part I: The Danger of Default Mode

As animals (at our core), we have portions of our brain dedicated to our safety and survival that have been with us, as a species, for hundreds of thousands of years. For the last few thousand years, we have been creating an easier way to do less, and part of that includes establishing safety in cities and towns, meaning we no longer deal with the same dangers as before. So now, we have directed those survival instincts into other portions of our lives. This can show up as anxiety, depression, anger, and misdirected energy and attention running our lives for us. Many of us don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s too late.

So how do you tell if you’re lying in the boat, not rowing?

You can start by taking inventory of each action you do on a daily basis. Do you have many repetitive activities—like commuting to work, tasks at work, cooking, cleaning, or preparing for the day—that you don't remember doing in the moment, just that you got the task done? That is what it feels like to be in autopilot. For your ego, this is exactly the kind of activity it craves because there's a level of predictability that allows for a false sense of control. When things are the same, they are viewed as safe; when they are different, even if they're better than what you have been experiencing, they are seen as dangerous. While it is natural to want a dependable and repetitive schedule to feel secure, it doesn't aid us in growing and becoming our best selves. In order to do that, we have to make the conscious decision to change our habits and old ways of being that no longer serve us.

The Home of Free Will

This is where the root of Free Will lives: in between stimulus and response.

We receive information through our senses, and our brain assigns meaning and presents it in a way our logical mind can comprehend. Then we take that information and form our response, whether that be an action, verbal, or internal-based reaction. Between us comprehending the information and taking action, we have the space to decide how we respond.

If we didn't have free will, we'd essentially be robots, responding to stimuli in a specific manner each time that specific stimuli is received. We wouldn’t even think; there would not be a buildup of emotion in order to take or decide against action. That build-up offers us a crucial moment where we can step in and decide what our response will be. When we respond to the same stimuli the same way, and it becomes a habit that requires no thought, we become those empty bodies in the assembly line doing the same things over and over. We give up our power and tell life to basically have its way with us, and it will do just that.

Being in the moment, conscious, and responsive to our surroundings and internal landscape is where we must be when we decide to grab the oars and begin to paddle with purpose and self-discipline toward our goals. We must put the work in if we are ever going to break out of old habits and work for ourselves in our own lives. When we operate out of sheer repetition, we work for others, but when we deliberately choose to do more or become more than what we currently are, we, by default, choose ourselves. This process takes time, dedication, and self-discipline, which is why we take small steps that cause a ripple effect in our lives.

Part II: The Choice Inventory (Your Weekly Tool)

When we take small steps to make a foundational change, it makes the change more tangible and allows you to tweak here and there as you go, making your growth and journey personally tailored by you, for you. How you choose to go forward is ultimately up to you, but here we will go over specifics for how to take back your power to choose how you react to the things you cannot control. Use this as a stepping stone to find what works best for you.

Each step in becoming aware of your reactions starts with taking inventory of your day, just like earlier when I asked if you had any repetitive tasks. Think back to common things you have a set response to: like if someone asks if you’re okay and you become defensive, or when you get stuck in traffic on your commute, you immediately get agitated. It doesn’t have to be a negative response; it could be a neutral response or any response that is unsatisfactory for you. Maybe you have children, and instead of listening to them and being mindful, you tune them out and don’t provide your full attention. Whatever it is, take note of it and categorize it—our brains love to sort things.

The Three Categories of Choice

1. Habitual or Default Choice: If the response is a consistent one to the same set of circumstances or stimuli, you may decide your response is Habitual or a Default. This could be saying "yes" when you really want to say "no," driving to work mindlessly, or even going into the store and taking the same path in and out every time. When the choice is a habit, it can be even more difficult to work through. In the companion video for this post, I decided halfway through that I would intentionally work to stop using so many filler words, and you can literally see and hear me struggle because I’ve gotten used to using them so often.
2. Learned or Conditioned Choice: If the response is learned or conditioned, you might want to label it as such. These include anything from a trauma response to simply something you learned when you were younger. One example is prayer: I grew up religious and used to pray over my food. Maybe you have a similar ritual, and when you’re asked to pray in a different context, the prayer you use for food comes out. It can also be a triggered response learned through difficulties you have endured, like an abuse victim flinching at loud noises or at people raising their hands near them.
3. Conscious Choice: If the response is a Conscious Choice, you took a moment to decide, even if you decided the same pattern as before. These are the Free Will choices we want to expand on and grow so that we may thrive in our best lives.

Awareness is the Secret Sauce

When labeling these responses, remember it’s not so much about the metrics of the information gathering as it is about becoming aware of what you are doing each day. With each choice to be present and choose your reaction to life is a choice towards a more fulfilling life.

Awareness is literally the secret sauce to all of your problems. When you become aware of not only the things outside of yourself but also those within your own life, you begin to see the connections, the patterns, the beliefs, and the whole picture that brought about your current reality. This does not happen overnight, and it is important to do what you can in each moment and celebrate each win, regardless of how big or small it may seem. Each step is a step towards yourself and ultimately loving who you are. With each decision to be grateful, you will improve your overall quality of life, and that’s backed by science.

Part III: Choice as the Foundation for Future Topics

When we put in the necessary action and the work, we begin to clearly see the patterns, the conditioning, the habits, and the repetitive processes that have made our life what it currently is. This awareness is what is needed next: filtering out the conditioning that drives those defaults. Making the conscious decision to interrupt and recondition old patterns is the next layer of free will.

This critical next step—Choice vs. Conditioning—is the topic for next week, as we continue to build our free will muscle throughout this month. Introducing and becoming aware is the first step to change, in a profound and long-lasting way. Remember this truth: You cannot and will not change what you are unwilling to acknowledge.

The Free Will Resolution

This entire month is meant to gear you up for New Year’s resolutions, but this process can be applied at any time you desire to make a change on your terms. Rather than living in "I should be..." land, you can live in "I choose to..." land, giving you the power to take the oars up and begin to row.

Because when we "should" be in a different situation, have a different body, or even behave differently, we give our power away. Each moment we get to do something is a moment we are in our power and actualizing our will to become all that we are becoming. So whenever you find this post, may it be the first step you embrace in a life that is guaranteed to change, with or without you.

Conclusion & Final Call to Action

The decision to choose your reaction is the decision to become a co-creator of your reality. You now have the first tool—the Choice Inventory—to identify where you are running on autopilot and where you are giving your power away to "destiny." Stop waiting for chance, and start claiming your choices.

The Free Will Resolution isn't about setting arbitrary goals; it's about making a series of intentional, conscious decisions that align with your highest self.

The Final Step

What is one habitual action you are choosing to observe and redirect this week using the Choice Inventory? Let me know down in the comments—I'm excited to witness your journey!

Until our next Mindful Adventure, my dear friends.

My goal is simply to be a vessel, sharing the lessons and insights from my own path in the hopes that they may serve as a guide on your own. If this message found you at just the right time and resonated with you, I consider our connection a profound success. Whether our paths cross just this once or intertwine beautifully, know that I am here as a comrade and a friend on this journey.

I truly hope you feel seen, supported, and hopeful as you continue on your way. You are welcome to share your thoughts in the comments below or reach out directly to me. If you feel called to support this work and its mission, you can find the donation page linked in the site's footer. I look forward to connecting with you on this magnificent adventure.

With Love, Light, and Fire,

Jamelah Lucket

Link to Companion YouTube Video