normal in your life, making you reevaluate your circumstances, your plans, and maybe even your whole life. This can be incredibly stressful, especially for the mind. But what if we could just flow through these changes and navigate them with ease, like a dancer, a free runner, or a martial artist—like a Tai Chi practitioner?

Life is full of changes; it's truly the only constant in our lives. Everything experiences change, and you've even changed since you read the last sentence, whether you realize it or not. Life is ever-flowing, like the currents of the ocean; it's changing, developing, and always on the move. We are the same way; we are part of the fabric of this universe, and as such, we also go through constant changes. When we try to control, resist, force, or distort this truth, we are met with friction, making it even more difficult to embrace change. It’s like wiping your butt with sandpaper instead of toilet paper; it’s painful, uncomfortable, and wrecks your skin. Reach for the toilet paper instead.

When we embrace change, we can open doors we didn’t know existed and gracefully walk away from doors that are now permanently shut. Today, we'll submerge ourselves into this topic, truly looking at the depths of change and why it’s so hard for us as humans to accept it. More importantly, we'll explore what can be done to make changes moving forward feel more like toilet paper and less like sandpaper. 

Why We Resist the Current: The Illusion of Fixed Ground

It is human nature to seek comfort and familiarity; it's a part of our ancient programming. Your subconscious mind instinctively labels change as potentially dangerous. This is because before we were living in sprawling cities, when many things out there were trying to eat us at nearly every turn, the ordinary was safety. Any shift to our regular circumstances meant something was off, something was wrong, and we might just die because of it.

This ancient part of us is called the Amygdala, and it has been around for millions of years, predating humans as we are now. It's the part of our brain that lights up to new information that may cause complications, and it controls our sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (relaxed) responses. Many people lovingly refer to it as "Monkey Brain" or "Monkey Mind," and that’s how I’ve been referring to it here in the blogs I publish. Our "Monkey Mind" tends to limit our potential because anything new or different carries a high potential for danger, simply because we’re unfamiliar with it. It craves safety at all costs, and in doing so, it cages us in the routine of life we’ve grown accustomed to – the same thing, day after day, just to keep us "safe."

The Illusion of Control & The Paralysis of Fear

This craving for safety creates an illusion of control, fueled by our mind’s desire for security and our ego’s desire for power. This illusion, ironically, causes more problems than solutions. It creates a difficult life that is often more unstable than what actual change carries. This leads us to root ourselves in fear, abandoning our aspirations and ambitions just to stay in the familiar, even if that familiar is our own personal hell.

This is the consequence of stagnation and resisting change, even when you know deep down it would improve your life. This deep-seated fear of the unknown has plagued humanity since prehistoric times. It’s why we historically burned witches, "conquered" the "uncivilized," and continue to reject anyone who doesn’t look, behave, or speak exactly like us. This fear has caused wars and stirred up unrest on all sides, affecting everyone involved. This fear, turned to hatred, has poured into future generations, causing ripples throughout time, manifesting as generational trauma.

All of this affects us now, and still, even today, we face unpleasant changes that trigger the same fear. This can lead to a phenomenon called "Paralysis by Analysis," which you might have called procrastination, perfectionism, or even overthinking. This phenomenon shows up as you thinking about a task without ever taking action. Sometimes, it manifests as perfectionism, where all conditions must be absolutely perfect before action can even begin. This is all rooted in the ego. We overthink things we ought to act on, neglecting the task altogether, building avoidant behavior, and creating a sense of guilt and shame, thus perpetuating the paralysis, or inability to act.

Dismantling Societal Narratives: The False Promises

When we are faced with pervasive societal narratives like "Settle Down," "Stay in Your Lane," "Stability is Security," or "Perfection or Failure," these messages only perpetuate the issue of embracing change. These are the narratives that encourage us to "play it safe," to "be cool," or to blindly chase the "American dream," even when it cages us.

Let's break them down:

• "Settle Down": This is never truly achievable. Even with a partner, home, children, pets, a stable job, and stable friend connections, you have countless people and circumstances to interact with daily. How can one settle down with all of that still going on? It’s not bad to desire these things, but it’s unrealistic to expect life to just become static once you’ve achieved them.

• "Stay in Your Lane": This phrase is designed to keep you small, to continue thinking and coloring inside the lines instead of pursuing other opinions or information you desire to obtain. When I hear, "Stay in your lane," I truly hear, "Stay small and don't break the status quo," because that does far more harm than good. We are meant to become more like ourselves, not be damned to an eternal path mimicking everyone else.

• "Stability is Security": This is a joke. Have you ever seen a tree, grass, a wild animal, or a planted seed stay or even grow the same in all seasons? It’s just not possible; it’s, again, a false sense of control. Each season of life is different, and the last time a season has been experienced, even if it's the same fundamental season, has never, ever been exactly, verbatim the same.

• "Perfection or Failure": What the hell is "perfect"? What is "failure"? Your answers are not identical to your neighbors', parents', friends', or even siblings'. Perfection isn’t something we can obtain as humans. Life is less about perfection and far more about progress. With each perceived failure, our cortisol levels (our stress hormone) rise, and we turn that inward, questioning our validity as imperfect beings. One of the messages the Creator (Universe, Spirit, God, or whatever resonates with you) has been showing me the past few years is that each perceived failure isn't an actual failure. They are the stepping stones to your highest timeline, potential, and self. They are lessons meant to enrich your soul and expand your mind.

So, how could you possibly see change as the enemy when change is the only true constant in our lives?

Your Superpower: Change as the Path to Flow

Change is truly the gift that keeps on giving, consistently showing up and providing new experiences. It opens doors, releases burdens, teaches invaluable lessons, and expands our very beings. As we learn to embrace the fullness of change, we step into our own power and become our most trusted advisor. We gain wisdom, clarity, guidance, and fresh ideas that allow us to move seamlessly through life in a fluid motion.

For me, I genuinely enjoy this process of understanding change as it's happening and after it’s happened. The necessary information will present itself in time – perhaps not all at once – but when it comes full circle, it’s one of the most satisfying things to experience in this lifetime. When I realize there's a shift unfolding in my life, my first thoughts are, "What lessons am I about to learn?" and "What am I being prepared for?" Because if I’m going through change, I know I am also being prepared for the future by the Universe. I am learning and becoming wiser, remembering and embracing, adapting and overcoming difficult situations. I embrace it no matter how challenging it may be, because that very difficulty is a catalyst for deeper change and development. I may cry, I may get angry, I may even have to work through all the stages of grief, but I know it was worth it. Every shift shows me just how far I’ve come.

From Resistance to Resilient Flow

I used to panic and resist change every time I even felt it would happen. There was a time I craved transformation yet was simultaneously repulsed by it, and that internal conflict caused me to react from a panicked and unstable place. I would just let my "Monkey Mind" take over and wreak havoc on my life, causing me to resist even more fiercely. I would be stressed, worn out, tired, and ultimately stagnate because I was refusing to learn the lesson and accept the reality of my circumstances. It's like a person in school refusing to learn a certain lesson and being required to retake that lesson to move on, or even the whole course over again.

Now, I am able to breathe and look at change from a "bigger picture" standpoint, with a more level head and the ability to feel my emotions without immediately going into a state of panic. The Creator provides us with lessons, but they are more like opportunities to gauge our growth; they demonstrate to ourselves, and to our external world, just how much we’ve learned. These opportunities allow us to "pass" these lessons and align even more closely with our Higher Selves.

Navigating Obstacles with Artistry

To be able to adapt and flow through these opportunities with skill and poise, like a Tai Chi practitioner, we must first embrace them. They are not barriers blocking us, but obstacles to be navigated. Think of it like an obstacle course: you don’t run relentlessly into a wall wishing it would move or dissipate. Instead, you move around it because you have accepted it as a necessary part of the process to pass the course and reach the other side.

This is not a race and should be looked at with care and consideration for your own current abilities, as everything you need is already within you. Even the ability to ask for help or guidance from someone else, which is often overlooked as a weakness or inadequacy, is actually a profound strength and courage. Through the process of mindful navigation, it will be easier to reach the end of the change, because it does end. And when it does, you are better equipped with stronger tools to carry with you always. The outcomes of these lessons fortify your being and provide you with something no one can ever take away: an even stronger sense of self and unwavering resilience.

Honoring Your Internal Weather: Navigating Emotions in the Shift

Our emotions during times of change can feel overwhelmingly chaotic, causing discord within our minds and bodies. It's crucial that we break them down and foster a better understanding. It's perfectly normal and healthy to feel a full spectrum of emotions when change hits – from sadness, fear, and anxiety to excitement, relief, or even grief. These emotions are not obstacles; they are vital information.

They are little runner-type messengers, communicating the bigger picture of your internal landscape and how things are truly affecting you. They come and go freely, but will linger if you resist them or hold onto them. Their only purpose is to deliver their important message and then leave once it has been received. They aren't there to cause unease or burden you, only to communicate energetically.

Finding Flow with Your Feelings

When we allow these emotional messengers to come into our lives, communicate with us, and then leave on their own accord, that is flow, and it provides a profound sense of ease. But when we resist them or cling to them, they get loud and overwhelming. They become rowdy house guests, doing everything in their power to bring your awareness to them or to prompt their release.

To achieve this flow and release our messengers, we must begin by asking ourselves open-ended questions like, "How does this serve me in this moment?" Rather than closed questions like, "Why is this happening to me?" This subtle shift empowers you, allowing you to fully receive the message and release the emotion as it's meant to be. When we ask these open-ended questions, it allows us to go inward and understand how the situation benefits us, rather than just happening to us. It elevates us out of victimhood and into our power, gaining a more profound sense of self through this seemingly small mindset shift.

Tools for Emotional Processing

We offer ourselves love and compassion as we move through these changes and become new versions of ourselves, ultimately building deeper trust and self-love. We check in, asking ourselves, "Why am I feeling this way?" This allows us to receive the emotion's message and discern if there's something we ought to tap into in this moment, or if we just need to sit with the emotion for a while as it brings thoughts, ideas, or memories to the surface for us to evaluate and observe.

The act of giving our emotions space provides us with the power to navigate our situation with grace and adaptability. Sometimes, we may even need to write down what we are feeling, fully think about and analyze them, move our bodies in ways that feel good, or even seek a safe space to fully express them. There are many different ways we can process these emotions, but to let them run their course, we must work with them, not against them. Resisting only causes friction and discord. These tools allow us to explore, in even greater depth, the emotions that are trying to accomplish their mission and flow through us.

Cultivating the Art of Adapting: Practical Steps to Find Your Flow

A. Mindful Observation (The Tai Chi Stance):

I’ve mentioned this before, and I will keep mentioning it: it is so important that we practice the art of non-judgmental observation of our thoughts. This sounds hard, because it is, but it's far from impossible. The way we navigate external change, seeing it as an objective event happening outside our immediate control, is similar to how we practice non-judgmental observation of our thoughts. Our thoughts aren't entirely us; they are technically outside our control, just like many changes in life.

To cultivate this skill, I believe it's important to dedicate time for reflection and gentle awareness exercises. During these times, offer yourself love and compassion when you notice harsh self-talk or judgment creeping in. As you consistently practice this, it becomes easier to apply it in your daily life, even when you're not actively doing the exercise.

A powerful technique for preparing your mind is to imagine the change and your potential reactions to it. This act of mental rehearsal makes your brain feel like it has experienced the situation before. This allows you to more quickly and effectively course-correct in everyday life, shifting from reactivity to mindful response. It won't be immediate, and you may find yourself slipping into past habits, but remember, it's all part of the progress, not a setback. 

B. Radical Acceptance (Surrendering to the Current):

To achieve radical acceptance of change, you need to acknowledge and accept the reality of the change, even if it's uncomfortable. This isn't about approving of the change, but rather ending the fight against "what is." We don't need to battle it or even like it, just accept that this is our current reality—that we are living through this change, and we are fully capable of accepting that truth.

We can use powerful affirmations like, "I accept this moment as it is," or "I am capable of navigating this." This builds confidence and trust within ourselves, affirming that we are indeed capable and can accept our reality as it is, rather than fighting it tooth and nail. The act of acceptance provides a deep energetic release of the energy that was previously spent on resistance. This release allows you to move forward and progress through the change more smoothly.

C. Identify Your Influence (Steering Your Vessel):

Next, we've got to look at our current change closely and clearly see what is within our control and what is not. This isn't about what we used to control or what we hope to control in the future, but what we actually have influence over right this very minute.

To do this, you can craft a simple table either in your mind or physically for what you have control over and what you do not. The act of identifying these things can profoundly help you better navigate change. This is because you then only pour your precious energy into things you can genuinely control, and you gracefully leave the rest up to the Divine. You can't control what's out of your reach, but the Divine can assist you by making your load just that much easier to carry. This practice provides protection from overload, fosters a deep sense of agency, and helps you invest your energy responsibly to protect your peace during the transition.

D. Seek Connection & Wisdom (Learning the River):

When you feel stuck or unsure of how to proceed, know that it’s time to reach out to your support system or seek knowledge from those who have navigated similar changes. This, again, is not a sign of weakness but rather a profound demonstration of your strength and resilience.

Our friends, communities, mentors, and therapists are all valid and helpful resources. You can also gain immense insight by reading books, listening to podcasts, or engaging with content that offers wisdom on navigating change (like this very blog post!). The act of seeking external guidance helps you to gain new perspectives, emotional solace, and practical strategies, reminding you that you're never alone. There is always someone willing to aid you, whether through human-to-human contact or through their shared content.

Beyond the external, remember your powerful connection to your Higher Self, Spirit Guides/Angels, and the Creator. You just need to ask and be still. (You can find more information on this in my blog post, Emotional Release to Radical Self-Trust)

E. Find the Invitation (The Blossom in the Shift):

Now for my favorite part of change: actively looking for the hidden opportunities, lessons, or new doors this change might be opening for you. I achieve this by asking powerful, open-ended questions like, "What is this change inviting me to learn about myself?" or "How can this shift make me stronger, wiser, or more aligned?"

These questions allow the Universe to show up in ways you never thought possible, and to give you answers for inquiries you may have never even thought to ask. Again, they leave you open to all possibilities, blessings, lessons, and guidance. This practice also powerfully shifts you from a victim mentality of things happening to you, to recognizing that things are happening for you, truly empowering you. It allows the change to become a vital stepping stone for your personal growth and development.

The Ever-Unfolding Joy of Becoming

So here’s the major takeaway, Adventurers: change is inevitable, but resistance is optional. Mastering the art of adapting allows you to move with grace and find profound flow. A flow that can guide you through your life and provide you with a sense of ease, rather than the raw energy of whipping yourself with that sandpaper of resistance. Not only can you use the toilet paper of flow, you can also learn to genuinely enjoy it. Your "butt" may be sore and wounded initially, and the "paper" may feel foreign, but trust me, the skin will heal, and the flow will soon feel like it should: soft, pliable, and far more comfortable and fulfilling than the sandpaper ever was. This flow brings with it immense freedom, deep understanding, unwavering resilience, and true personal growth that only comes from embracing life's shifts.

You are strong, capable, and more than equipped to embrace life’s changes. You are a powerhouse of prosperity and abundance. Life isn’t always easy, but change doesn’t have to be one of those difficulties. When approached with an open heart and adaptable spirit, it can be quite pleasant and incredibly reassuring that you are precisely where you are meant to be.

What’s one small shift you can choose to embrace with more flow this week? I'd love to hear about it! Let me know in the comments here, send me a direct message on my social media accounts, or leave a message in the contact form on my website. I look forward to your replies and celebrating your journey.

That's all for this post, dear Adventurers. If this message brought you value or resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. Remember, we're all on this journey together, and the more companions we help guide, the brighter our collective future will be.

I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments below or reach out directly via my Contact Me page or social media accounts (linked in the site’s footer). If you feel called to support this work, I'd also deeply appreciate any monetary donation to help keep this site alive and improving. You can find the donation page linked in the site's footer. I truly look forward to connecting with you and reading your insights as I prepare for next week's adventure.

With Love,

Jamelah Luckett