"hermit mode" to obtain your greatest desires. I’m here to show there’s a different, more feasible way to detach that doesn't require you to cold-shoulder the world.

When we attach ourselves to certain expectations or outcomes, we begin to grip those things, trying to force them to happen on our own timeline. Taking the stance of non-attachment allows things to ease and flow into the natural unfoldings of the Universe.

We are going to learn how to let our lives flow while putting our effort and energy into the things that are in our control. This step is crucial for the last topic of this month—manifestation. If you crave stability that no one can disrupt, grab something to take notes, a snack, and a beverage, and let’s dive in!

Part I: The Myth of Control and The Cost of Attachment

The biggest myth we face as humans is the belief that we control things outside of ourselves—situations, people, or the order of events, to name a few. The only things we have control over are our actions and behaviors.

Our brains crave control because they desire predictability, a trait we developed more than tens of thousands of years ago that ensured our survival. Desiring control is normal, but we no longer have a primal need for 100% predictability. We don’t live in the wild anymore, and stagnation actually causes more issues than perpetual change, as all is changing at all times. The only certainty we have is that change is happening infinitely, in and around us, all of the time. It is vital to give our "monkey brains" some structure by putting all of this misplaced energy into the one thing we can actually control: ourselves.

The Energy Drain of External Focus

When we put energy into things we cannot control, that act creates a siphon, drains our energy, and causes us to burn out. We essentially abandon ourselves and give our power away.

Think of it like paddling a boat upstream against the current versus paddling downstream with the current. When you try to control things you don’t actually control, it’s exhausting and often in vain. The current will take you where it wants, regardless of your input. Therefore, you might as well learn how to handle what the river throws at you. This means taking the time to work on your Shadow Self, showing up with compassion, loving yourself, and honing your self-discipline.

The Real-Life Cost of Clenching

I’ve seen this pattern play out in real life with someone close to me who refuses to let things be and insists on controlling others. This constant mental effort manifests as chronic, severe physical illness and endless hospital visits. This is not meant to scare you, but to offer a clear, real-life example of a person who refuses to put effort into themselves out of fear and how that resistance manifests as suffering and physical illness.

Building an Internal Fortress

Taking the time to attend to yourself instead of the outside variables is incredibly critical in the process of non-attachment. This way, you aren't focusing on a specific outcome outside of yourself, but instead on yourself.

When you focus on yourself, you build strength, resilience, self-trust, and boundaries—all things that no one can take from you. When we focus on things outside of ourselves, we are building and developing something that anyone can take from us. Why put your power into the hands of others and place yourself at a disadvantage? It’s almost like gambling or attempting to make it big in the stock market; it can all be taken away in an instant, leaving you with nothing but the same issues you had before you had it all.

The Universe's "Better Idea"

The Universe wants you to succeed and handsomely rewards those who pour into themselves. When the Universe closes a door, it’s not in spite of you; it’s to protect, redirect, and aid you in your life.

As the saying goes, the Universe never truly tells you "No," only “Yes,” “Not yet,” or “I have something better.”

The thing you desired might have actually brought you hardship or put you in a place you were trying to avoid. But because you were so attached to the thing looking exactly how you envisioned it, you could miss the beautiful opportunity that was actually perfect for you.

Part II: Practicing the Release (The How)

We can only control our efforts; the outcome is in the hands of the Universe. But don’t get it twisted: our efforts do affect the outcome, as we are co-creators with the Universe. We just don’t have control over the physical specificities—the exact "when" and "how" it happens.

The river of life isn't a heartless, slave-driving entity; it is the journey you must take to strengthen your soul, and the lessons are often compounded. Because of this, it is very important to be present in all moments of life. Each moment is an opportunity to learn something—about yourself, others, situations, or circumstances. Being in the moment also makes the job of focusing on yourself a billion times easier than if you’re constantly worried about the future or past, like most of us. It takes you from life happening to you to life happening for you.

The Power of "It Is What It Is"

I want you to look at this phrase: It is what it is. How does it make you feel? Does it spark irritation, or does it bring you peace?

Today, I’m asking you to look at this phrase as literally as possible. "It is what it is" is the same as stating obvious, irrefutable facts about a person, place, thing, or situation. Consider obvious facts: The Earth rotates on a tilted axis, creating night and day, and all the seasons we have. We don’t question these things; they are what they are. You can’t change that.

A lot of people fight tooth and nail trying to prove things that are not so (and those people are typically stressed the hell out constantly). Instead of fighting these facts, you can accept them and get on with your day.

When you are faced with things that are out of your control, you can simply say, “It is what it is.” Why? Because it definitely isn’t what it’s not. It’s possible you don’t see the full picture, so what "it is" may develop into something more complex later. This is the perfect example of allowing things to be free and breaking down rigid expectations. You cannot expect everything to stay the same or to turn out exactly the way you’ve envisioned; it’s simply not healthy.

Part III: The Reward: Flowing with the Unknown

Staying in the present moment is the most important thing we can do to release the outcome, the expectation, and the accompanying stress. As I stated earlier, being in the moment makes it easier to develop yourself and process your emotions. When you’re grounded in the moment, you are more open to your surroundings, opportunities present more readily, and you can focus your effort on what’s directly in front of you. It is the only place you truly exist and the only place you can use that effort for yourself instead of fleeting circumstances.

In the moment, you are working with the river instead of fighting to get upstream. This opens you up for ease, synchronicities, blessings, answers, and new experiences. You get to learn more and actually enjoy your life. In contrast, when you are out of the moment—worrying/obsessing over the future or past—you’re fighting the current. You close yourself off, drain your energy, and give your power away. Your best moments are here and now; the past is gone, and the future is uncertain.

Intuition, Ease, and the Nervous System

When you operate in the moment and allow ease into your life, you open yourself up to your intuition. This is the very real and valid part of ourselves that guides us to our best life and helps us navigate even the most difficult of situations.

Your intuition is backed by the biology of your nervous system, including your Intrinsic Nervous System (INS) and Intrinsic Cardiac Nervous System (ICNS). These systems constantly collect data, communicate with the brain, and influence our thoughts. While they operate in all states, they work exponentially better when you are in a state of calm groundedness. To be honest, the body just functions better with low stress. So, to improve your life, even if you only gain this bit of information today, stay in the moment and work on reducing stress.

Non-Attachment as Ultimate Faith

Allowing yourself to detach from the outcome is the ultimate form of faith in the Divine. You don’t have control over the outcome, only the Creator knows these things. To have faith that the Universe loves, cares, and desires the best for you is to believe that you deserve the things that light your soul up.

When you focus on what brings you peace, joy, and deep fulfillment, you begin to change yourself on a fundamental level. This change allows you to let go of the outcome and be content with your personal development.

When you reach this state of contentment is when the Universe is most likely to drop the blessing in your lap. Learning how to be satisfied even without the external outcome makes you a powerful manifestor and human being because you pour into yourself rather than uncertain outside sources.

So put faith in your ability to embrace your full self, release fears of the unknown, and remain in the present. That faith is what will bring your blessings "running" to you.

Conclusion: Embrace Peace Over Control

Choosing to not get attached to a specific outcome is an active, powerful choice to select peace over control.

It is in our nature to desire control. Ingrained through evolution, habit-building, and social norms, this desire fools us into believing that the things outside of us are ours to influence. The truth is that we only have ourselves and what we do in our control.

Reclaiming this power and redirecting that effort from fleeting external circumstances back to yourself takes time and effort. In the long run, not reclaiming this power exerts more energy and can lead to burnout and exhaustion. Like trying to force a square block into a circular hole, you can destroy the entire structure in the attempt to force what doesn't fit. True stability and strength are found in the ability to adapt and flow.

The Final Bridge to Manifestation

This practice of non-attachment is the final piece of preparation you need for next week’s topic: Manifesting.

We will focus on releasing expectations, refocusing our energy, accepting ourselves, and becoming and doing what we desire. Each week—from Shadow Work, to Conquering Doubt, to Non-Attachment—has led up to this finale, digging into the crucial and essential aspects that make manifestation truly work.

Your Next Step Out of the Grip

Before we leave this adventure this week, I would love to know: What is one outcome you are ready to mentally release your grip on this week? Share your commitment in the comments!

Until our next Mindful Adventure, my dear friends.

My goal is simply to be a vessel, sharing the lessons and insights from my own path in the hopes that they may serve as a guide on your own. If this message found you at just the right time and resonated with you, I consider our connection a profound success. Whether our paths cross just this once or intertwine beautifully, know that I am here as a comrade and a friend on this journey.

I truly hope you feel seen, supported, and hopeful as you continue on your way. You are welcome to share your thoughts in the comments below or reach out directly to me. If you feel called to support this work and its mission, you can find the donation page linked in the site's footer. I look forward to connecting with you on this magnificent adventure.

With Love, Light, and Fire,

Jamelah Lucket

Link to Companion YouTube Video