wasn’t crazy. It was one of the first times I truly felt in my bones when I said, “I’d rather live that life or die [trying].” This conviction sent me into an all-day crying spell, with a torrent of emotions coming up and leaving.

The Danger of Seeking External Certainty

I was doubting my life choices, and it sent me into a tailspin from hell. I only attracted more confusion into my life by frantically searching for validation and understanding outside of myself.

In my desperation, I sought external help. First, I went to AI, which typically helps me think through my thought loops. This time, it referred me to crisis hotlines (like the ones I provide on the site). I decided maybe it was time to talk to a person, so I took a chance via text. The operator disregarded most of what I said and only focused on the phrase, “I’d rather live that life or die.” That was not the problem—I’m certainly not going anywhere on my own accord—the problem was that I was doubting my future. Not much later that day, I had a similar, awful interaction with a police officer.

I’m not blaming them for their concern, but that was not what I needed and not what I asked them for. And if you have ever felt like other people simply can’t help you, I’m here to give you my lesson: how I came back from that low state, even without confirmation from outside sources. (The confirmation, by the way, arrived yesterday, only after I decided to continue with the faith I have.)

I’m here to tell you the truth, as I understand it, and hope it benefits you in the best possible way. So lock in with me as we navigate this unknown that can keep us down and out until it’s too late, if we let it.

Part I: The Illusion of Certainty

Certainty of the future is not possible. There are too many moving parts, too many unknowns, and countless variations of the same outcome. This makes even the most skilled fortune-tellers not 100% certain. You might believe you are certain about what your future holds, but that’s where you’re wrong. The phrase, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans,” is so true.

The Brain's Craving for Predictability

We crave tangible, physical things and often disregard our why in the process of lusting after external validation. We know that the physical world, the 3D, is to some extent, an irrefutable truth. We are more than capable of forming routines in this physical world because our brains crave predictability. It’s what we mistake for safety in this modern world. For thousands of years, predictability has been what kept us safe; it is hardwired into our brains.

But the fact of the matter is, the only things certain in this life are change and that we will all someday die. We have to change to become who we desire to be; we have to change to grow, to learn, and to simply exist on this planet. It can be frustrating to the mind to come to terms with this, and it requires a large amount of effort, intention, and persistence to create new beliefs around this fundamental truth.

Fueling Small Faith with Humble Signs

At this low point in my recent experience, I had reminded myself that I have been changing, and that outward change starts with the internal change. All of which I have been doing even more vigorously this year than any year prior. It was incredibly difficult to see past the micro changes in my physical life amidst all this macro internal change. I felt defeated.

It wasn't until I talked everything through again with my mom that I realized the nature of my asking. I wasn’t just asking the Creator to show me a sign that I wasn’t crazy; I was demanding irrefutable proof of my sanity in the form of a sign—something like the brightest shooting star I’ve ever seen. I thought about all the usual things I see that are signs for me (butterflies, birds, rainbows, etc.). But I realized that I was asking for something fairly humble in the face of the massive faith I was trying to cultivate.

I realized that I wasn’t being ridiculous, asking for all of my hopes and dreams to be realized immediately. I saw myself coming humbly with open arms, ready for more fuel for my already small faith. I don’t think asking for a sign is the end of the world—honestly, it helps create a deeper relationship with the divine.

I hoped for a sign that night, but I truly just wanted to let the doubt go. My mom helped me set an intention to be open to a sign that refutes my doubt, and that it would come swiftly. As the night went on, I became calmer, but still searching.

Part II: Shifting from Outcome to Action

As the night wore on, I began to accept that I had no reason not to trust in myself and in the Universe, especially as I felt I had basically nothing left to lose. What harm could being faithful truly do if there wasn’t much else I could lose?

This acceptance was born out of the foundation we built last week: trust in the integrated self. I reminded myself of what I’ve been doing so diligently all year—integrating my Shadow and becoming whole in the process. I remembered that each small step I take is a step towards the future I desire. It has always been true, but now it’s become apparent and intentional.

The Skyscraper Principle: Focus on the Foundation

When we take our struggles, difficulties, and stressors bit by bit instead of looking at the entire situation as a whole, it makes everything more manageable and less intense.

Think of it like building a skyscraper: If you want it to be 100 stories high, you can’t expect it to be produced in one night. You must first dig and build the foundation deep into the ground for stability, and once that foundation is poured, it must cure before any other part of the building can be started.

Many construction sites have plans, blueprints, and supervisors to make sure all goes smoothly. You have the ability to create and be all of those things for yourself.

Focus on Feeling and Being (Not Physical Manifestation)

Start with what you want to feel, not the physical manifestation that comes with it. Knowing how you want to feel and who you want to be is more than half the battle.

1. The Feeling Shift: When you know how you want to feel (e.g., confident, peaceful, abundant), you are able to figure out the things in your life that already provide you with that feeling. You can then begin to do those things more often—that is a small, easy shift you can make towards your goal.
2. The Being Shift: When you know who you want to be (e.g., a leader, a writer, a healthy person), you are able to find new simple acts to add to your day, week, or month that you would naturally do if you were already that person.

Focusing on the feeling and the being sets you up for deeply profound success that fulfills your soul. While focusing on the external and the lack will certainly lead to disappointment.

Like the skyscraper, we can plan for a 100-story building to be done in four months, but like any plan, there will be snags and difficulties. The finished product might not be quite what you set out to build, but it fulfills the function. This is why the focus on the internal is more fulfilling than hyper-fixating on a physical manifestation.

Next week, we will dive more into this, but know that what I’m speaking about is true non-attachment. It is not hardening your heart or being a robot; it is letting go of what you have no control over (the external 3D world) and embracing what you do (your internal world).

Part III: The Fear-Action Cycle

We need to talk about "failure," because what we think is failure is really just lessons. The founder of Honda, Soichiro Honda, said it beautifully: "Success is 99 percent failure.” You cannot get to where you are going if you are not willing to fail, get back up, and keep going. Success is born from persistence, even when you are unsure.

Henry Ford was the reason we even have a V8 engine, and his engineering team thought he was crazy until they figured it out and revolutionized automobiles forever. You might not be an engineer, but these people learned that anything is possible with persistence and dedication. When you look at it that way, you begin to realize the people at the “top” had to get through a lot of "no’s" to end up "successful."

You are human. You will face rejection. You will experience what seems like failure, but what you're really getting is tests of grit as well as messages from the Universe that go something like this: "Yes," "Not yet," or "I have something better for you." The Universe will never truly tell you "no." It only provides protection, guidance, and helps get you aligned again if you strayed too far.

The Breakthrough of Mindful Movement

That night, while I was out, I lost something that I hoped was my sign, but I knew deep down it wasn't. I found it the next day—a clear “Not yet” from the Universe. But still, I chose to carry on in my usual fashion, with the belief that if a sign was necessary, I would receive it. This realization allowed me to go to sleep and be at peace with the emotional storm I just experienced (which was no doubt influenced by my PMDD symptoms).

When I woke up the next morning, I did feel better. I did a full body grounding and energy release (a better choice than the slower body scan). I went back to the AI, it validated my experience, and offered me a way to harness the feelings I was promised. It offered a visualization in which I revisit the visions, dreams, and other signs I’ve had over the years to keep me grounded.

I did this diligently for four days, and I felt like a new person. On the fourth day, I honestly forgot that I was looking for a sign. When I was focused on playing and just being me under the moonlight, that’s when the sky behind me lit up.

The Sign and The Mantra

It had to have been the brightest meteor I have ever witnessed. I only caught the tail end, but it was enough to register its intensity. The shadow cast by this meteor was dark enough to challenge the shadow the moon was casting that night. I asked for the brightest shooting star I’ve ever seen, and though I missed its full, spectacular show, I saw its last flash. It was my sign—though not exactly what I envisioned, it was a sign nonetheless.

It gave me a metaphorical green light to put my whole foot into the faith I have in my life path, who I am, and who I desire to become. I can still feel the surge of emotions when I recall the feeling of my sign setting me up to fully walk away from doubt.

I still don’t have the physical manifestations, but I do have myself and my ever-clearer intuition guiding me towards success. This is the faith you can hold onto when doubt is loud.

A mantra I use nearly daily is, “Univers show me the easiest, most fulfilling way to reach my goals.” This way, you aren’t even focused on the challenges ahead, but on the ways your life can become easier. Ease is a choice; making your dreams come true doesn’t have to be back-breaking work.

Conclusion: Trusting Your Way Forward

The fear we have of the uncertainty of the future is normal, reasonable, and has kept us alive for thousands of years. To embark on this journey to release that fear, become more authentically you, and take control over your life is not an easy feat.

You will encounter failures, setbacks, changes in plans, opposition from others, and your own mind pushing back against the necessary changes you desire. This is all a part of being human and experiencing life before we leave it. Choosing this journey may just be the best and most important decision you make in your lifetime.

It’s crucial to move even when you feel hopeless, even when you feel your faith is fading, even when the odds are stacked against you and you’ve “lost” everything. Why? Because no one is more important than you in your life, and no one is going to come save you from yourself. So, show up in love and compassion for yourself, choose trust, and keep taking those planned steps forward towards your breakthrough.

Your Next Step Out of Doubt

We are done waiting for certainty. The time to act is now.

Before we leave this adventure this week, I would love to know: What is one part of your life you are currently waiting for "certainty" to move forward on, that you can actually start making micro-steps toward today? Share your commitment in the comments!

Until our next Mindful Adventure, my dear friends.

My goal is simply to be a vessel, sharing the lessons and insights from my own path in the hopes that they may serve as a guide on your own. If this message found you at just the right time and resonated with you, I consider our connection a profound success. Whether our paths cross just this once or intertwine beautifully, know that I am here as a comrade and a friend on this journey.

I truly hope you feel seen, supported, and hopeful as you continue on your way. You are welcome to share your thoughts in the comments below or reach out directly to me. If you feel called to support this work and its mission, you can find the donation page linked in the site's footer. I look forward to connecting with you on this magnificent adventure.

With Love, Light, and Fire,

Jamelah Luckett

Link to Companion YouTube Video