It’s how we intentionally nurture our minds, bodies, and souls, allowing these three dimensions of our being to work together in harmonious creation.

I believe our spiritual goal is to draw closer to the Creator through this human experience. The Creator embodies the purest form of love – a vibration so high it moves mountains, creates substance, sustains life, and can shift the universe at will. Without love, there would be no us, no stars, no galaxies, planets, or space. This is my core belief, and it’s the foundation for understanding our own capacity to love.

Right here, in the here and now, we have the power to care for ourselves. We don't exist in the past or the future, no matter how hard we try to cling or project. What we did in the past led us to this moment, and what we choose to do now will shape our future. I know I can't go back and change anything, and honestly, if it meant being here sharing this with you, I'd live it all again. That's what I wish for you too: to find peace with your past, because that's where exponential growth truly begins.

Why should you care about self-love?

When we deeply love ourselves, we become our own truest friend, our steadfast family, and our unwavering support system. This profound connection to self is what empowers us to heal traumas, including generational wounds and deep emotional scars. When you are your own everything, there’s nothing anyone can say or do that will truly diminish your spirit.

Even in the face of immense challenge, remember this fundamental truth: you are pure energy, and energy can neither be created nor destroyed. You are a powerful, ever-evolving force, which means we must continuously cultivate and care for the energy within ourselves. Nurturing your energetic being is paramount.

When we love ourselves deeply, unconditionally, and relentlessly, it cultivates an inner fortitude. It translates to a strong individual able to let anything the world throws at them simply roll off, like water off a duck's feathers. This internal resilience allows us to establish more defined boundaries – both internally, regarding what emotions we accept, and externally, regarding what we tolerate in our physical space and interactions.

These boundaries are crucial for building an environment that truly benefits and uplifts you. Without them, we become prone to burnout, unhealthy stress, misalignment with our authentic selves, unfulfilling relationships, and the unnecessary absorption of other people's shit. (Yes, I know it's quite an image, but sometimes a clear visualization helps the message stick!)

You possess the inherent ability to love yourself in any situation, no matter how daunting it may seem. When you consciously choose to do so, your inner child, mind, body, and soul will thank you deeply.

Who benefits from self-love?

Obviously, you are the primary beneficiary of self-love and self-care. You step into a profound, nurturing power that only you can provide for yourself—a power that is independent of anyone else. This strength vibrates with the highest energy there is: pure love.

Why wouldn't you embrace yourself fully and deeply? Why wouldn't you allow yourself a permanent companion who truly doesn't care what others think, while doing everything to uplift and protect you? Imagine a friend who loves you unconditionally, even when your world feels like it's imploding into a black hole. Picture a life partner who understands the intricate depths of your being, who can read your mind because they are a part of you. Someone who doesn't need constant explanation because they are you. Doesn't that sound incredible? Doesn't that sound like a dream come true?

But the benefits don't stop with you. When you fill your own cup with self-love, that overflow naturally extends to those around you. The people you care about, those closest to you, the ones who depend on you, and even strangers you encounter, all receive this outpouring of love. This happens because you show up as your most authentic, pure self.

Your authentic presence creates a powerful energetic exchange. Just being near someone who genuinely embodies their true self, even without a single word exchanged, impacts the energetic field, benefiting everyone in that space.

How do you self-love?

1. Love Your Emotions

Showing ourselves compassion is a profound act of self-love. What does this look like in practice? It means that when you're in the midst of a crisis or a troubled spot, you offer yourself kindness instead of abandonment. It means tending to that unhealed inner child struggling with difficult circumstances.

When emotions like overwhelm, hurt, anger, sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, or uncertainty arise, take a moment, if possible, to sit with them. Gently explore if they trigger a memory or realization you can begin to process. Don’t worry if immediate clarity doesn't come; sometimes answers arrive once you're out of a heightened emotional state, or after an emotion is triggered multiple times, slowly revealing its origins.

I've found this process to be challenging, by no means an easy task. But when I uncover an answer, it’s as if a fog has lifted, and I can clearly identify why certain situations trigger me. When I've done all I can on my own and still struggle for answers, I turn to my guides, the Creator, or my higher self for clarity. Sometimes the insight is immediate; other times, it unfolds over days, weeks, or even months. I simply keep an open mind and heart, ready to receive.

Answers often appear in surprising forms. For me, vivid dreams are a frequent source – and anyone who knows me knows I get some wild ones! Yet, within these dreams, there might be a specific message, a recurring theme, a phrase, or even a plain answer. If you don't regularly experience vivid dreams, you might receive guidance through another person, perhaps someone on the phone, a stranger you pass, a video on social media, or a subtle feeling guiding you in the right direction. It could even be a song on the radio, one you’ve heard a thousand times, suddenly resonating differently today. The key is to keep your mind and heart open, and to continue loving yourself through the process.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

We define boundaries as the fundamental rules for how we treat ourselves, how we allow others to treat us, and how we interact with the world. Importantly, these are not walls built out of fear, but rather structures built from profound self-trust. When set and maintained effectively, clear boundaries dramatically improve our relationships with both ourselves and others.

As Joe Sanok highlights in "A Guide to Setting Better Boundaries," boundaries offer a direct solution to many of life’s challenges. They help us define what we need to feel secure and healthy, when we need it, and provide the tools to protect those vital parts of ourselves. This proactive approach does wonders for our well-being at work and home, allowing us to bring our best selves to every area of life. A boundary can be anything from how you prefer partners and peers to communicate with you, to when you're available for your boss, or even simply your preferred days for work versus rest.

Unfortunately, many of us weren't taught how to form these crucial boundaries, making the process incredibly difficult. While there are many reasons for this, two common culprits that come to mind are people-pleasing and high-functioning codependency. Both patterns can develop as early as childhood, stemming from a deep-seated need to prioritize others before ourselves. Though one might be "sneakier" than the other, both involve a fear of not adequately pleasing or caring for those around you.

As a recovering high-functioning codependent myself, I know the struggle intimately. When I enforce my boundaries, my brain and body often scream at me like I'm committing the most heinous act imaginable. But I've learned to tell myself, out loud: "I'm okay. I am safe. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly; this is for you. This feeling will pass." And when it does pass, I feel a profound sense of freedom I didn't have before.

It can be particularly tricky with family and long-term friends who've grown accustomed to your old, more porous boundaries. They might feel betrayed or hurt, which can intensify your own feelings of doing something wrong. In these moments, it's crucial to stick to your guns and stand up for yourself. I've personally lost family members and friends whom I thought would support me through my changes. Honestly, I'm glad they walked out of my life, and I walked out of theirs. I still love them as people and hope they grow from our encounter, but the truth is, I don't need that energy.

3. Nourish Your Body

Caring for ourselves fundamentally means taking care of our physical bodies. This includes choosing foods that energize us for full, productive days, engaging in movement – whether structured workouts or intuitive dance – and truly listening when our bodies ache. It also means nurturing our skin and prioritizing sufficient sleep. All these actions should be a priority because the better we care for our bodies, the better they can function, allowing us to live our lives more fully.

Your body is constantly working to keep you alive and thriving. It doesn't want to give up on you, so we must ensure we provide it with all it needs: essential nutrients, vitamins, proteins, regular movement, necessary medicine, hydration, and anything else unique to its needs. Remember, we're all unique individuals; what works for me might not work for you, and what you need might differ from your family members. Full mobility is a profound blessing, something to cherish and nurture, to hopefully avoid needing mobility aids later in life. And if you do use them, you understand the frustration of limited movement.

"But Jamelah, what if I have poor health?" That's okay. As I mentioned, we all have individual needs. Our focus should be on protecting and nurturing what we do have, and if possible, actively working to heal areas that are struggling. This means consciously choosing healing actions, and if you can't do it alone, bravely seeking professional help. Your life is precious, meant to be nurtured, cherished, and embraced with open arms. Getting the help you need, when you need it, is a vital part of this.

Waiting in a health situation often signals to your body and the Universe that you don't truly value your life. I know this might sound harsh, but delaying care when symptoms arise can have serious consequences. You never know when a "minor" symptom could be the start of a much worse outcome. I've heard too many stories, including that of my late grandfather, where people waited until they were mere hours or days from death, despite experiencing symptoms for months. Your life is infinitely more important than pride, fear, or anything else holding you back from seeking the care you deserve.

4. Care For Your Mind

A profound act of self-love involves nourishing your mind. This means intentionally engaging in activities that stimulate your brain, such as learning a new skill or hobby, sharpening existing ones, participating in engaging conversations, tackling puzzles, reading, or playing strategy games.

By actively "feeding" your mind, you challenge your brain to forge new thought patterns, allowing you to perceive the world from fresh perspectives. While it might feel akin to using your imagination, here you're specifically exercising your critical thinking skills. This practice significantly enhances your cognitive abilities, memory, critical thinking, and emotional well-being, ultimately improving your overall sense of wellness.

Cultivating a sharp mind can also enhance your search for answers to personal triggers. When you employ critical thinking, you actively engage in problem-solving, connect disparate ideas, and lay out situations before you, often gaining a comprehensive view by examining them from multiple angles. This analytical approach is precisely how we can empower ourselves through life's difficulties and challenges. Critical thinking isn't just a test category; it's an invaluable life skill essential for self-growth.

5. Embrace Your Inner Child

A beautiful way to show yourself love and care is by allowing your inner child to breathe and play. This can look like coloring, drawing, dancing, singing, playing in water, hula-hooping, climbing a tree, building a pillow fort, or simply getting curious in nature. It's about revisiting literally anything you used to enjoy as a child. We engage in these activities to find ease and a much-needed break from the demands of adulting. This is also a crucial opportunity to flex your imagination muscle.

Now, if you're thinking, "But Jamelah, my imagination sucks!" — I respectfully disagree. I can guarantee you're capable of imagining your next vacation, the details of your upcoming workday, or even how everything could go wrong. If you can conjure up scenarios like these, you simply need to stretch that muscle to unlock its full range of motion.

Your imagination is incredibly powerful. It holds the ability to make you feel like the ruler of the world or a peasant in a filthy gutter. So why limit ourselves to just this physical plane of existence? You could take a five-minute break at your desk and embark on an entire expedition without ever leaving the room. Honestly, much like Spongebob and Patrick in that box, you can create a whole experience right where you are. Why would you reserve that potent imaginative energy only for "reality" or for catastrophizing, when you can use it to uplift yourself and create joy?

6. Nurture Your Spirit

Caring for our spirits or souls is an essential component of self-love. We can achieve this in countless ways: spending time in nature, engaging in spiritual practices like church, meditation, or prayer, listening to uplifting podcasts, volunteering, reading insightful blogs (like this one!), practicing gratitude, finding balance, or passionately pursuing our hobbies.

Nurturing your spirit is the act of connecting to something larger than yourself. It's about finding fulfillment, embodying love, and reminding yourself that you possess purpose and meaning. These practices allow us to feel whole, complete, and purposeful. They effectively reduce stress and anxiety, and can significantly aid in dismantling depression.

I understand how incredibly difficult it can be to navigate chronic depression or illnesses that feel beyond your control. When facing these challenges, the idea of spiritual well-being can seem like a distant dream, or something unobtainable. But I'm here to tell you it's 110% possible. Though the journey might feel daunting, there's immense fulfillment in experiencing that moment of clarity, wondering, "Is this what it feels like to be normal? To not have a dark cloud constantly raining over my head?"

Trust me, if you're reading these words, you are on your way to a breakthrough. Your higher self has guided you here for a reason. There's a profound purpose why you're seeing hope even when you don't feel it – a purpose that extends far beyond your current feelings, present situation, or any illness you might be facing.

7. Navigate Challenges

(Trigger Warning: The following section contains details of serious mental health struggles. Reader discretion is advised. It ends with the bold sentence. *Resources at the end of the post.)

My greatest personal challenge has been navigating PMDD (PreMenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). This awful, multifaceted, likely hormone-related illness has no cure and used to hijack my body about 75% of the time. If I was lucky, I'd get a mere one to two weeks of rest in my cycle to clean up its nasty mess of splintered relationships, self-deprecating thoughts, extreme mood swings, anxiety, anger, and confusion. PMDD was a part of my life even before I started fully menstruating, causing me to act out like clockwork every month. Through this constant inconsistency within my own body, I developed chronic depression, and I believe that struggle also led to thoughts of suicide. (*If you are suffering from thoughts of suicide, please find help and reach out. You are precious, valuable, and important.)

It wasn't until I went to college and decided to seek help on my own that I was finally diagnosed. Other doctors had tried before, but they often just prescribed pills, which is something I didn't want to rely on long-term. I was fortunate to find a wonderful psychiatrist who gently guided me through my traumas, provided tools I still use today, and encouraged me to find my own path.

I did, for a time, use fluoxetine (an SSRI). While it made me feel better, it created a false sense of security. I was ignoring my underlying issues, essentially abandoning myself for a man-made solution. When my prescription eventually ran out, I realized it was time to get down to business and figure out what I could do to truly equip myself to handle these symptoms. Around that time, I also started using a birth control implant, Nexplanon, which does help reduce some of the symptoms, preventing me from experiencing the full brunt of the disorder. However, I view it as training wheels. Eventually, they'll come off, and when they do, I need to be able to balance on my own. I hope to be well-equipped for that.

I know I'll still fall, as we all do in life. But when I get back up, I'll clean and bandage my knee and hands, get back on the bike, and try again. This persistent effort is for myself first and foremost, but also for my family, my friends, my pets, and my future.

I didn't share this part of my journey to gain sympathy. My intention is to show you that if you want it badly enough, you absolutely can take the steps to improve the quality of your own life. The key is to get consistent now.

When do you self-love?

The answer is simple: every moment of every day. There's no reason not to continuously build ourselves up and offer ourselves encouragement. We are with ourselves 24/7, 365 days a year, so during that time, we should be our own biggest cheerleaders, showering ourselves with love, and acting as that "super best friend" who just gets us, because that friend is you.

Look in the mirror and genuinely say, "I love you, and I will never abandon you." Make silly faces to make yourself laugh. Be mindful of how you show up in the world and what you allow into your life, diligently enforcing your boundaries where applicable.

True self-love means loving ourselves even when we hit rock bottom, when we're surrounded by darkness, feeling lost, scared, and utterly alone. We must never abandon ourselves. And if we ever do, it's crucial to find our way back, grab ourselves by the hand, and embrace that lost part. Remind yourself that you are here, and you will never wander too far before realizing who you've left behind – your own precious inner child.

As I said earlier: "The moment we stop caring for ourselves is the moment we stop loving ourselves."

That is all for this post, dear Adventurers. If you found value or enjoyment in this message, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. Remember, we are all on this journey together, and the more companions we help guide, the brighter our collective future will be.

I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments below or reach out to me through the Contact Me page or via direct message on my social media accounts (linked in the site’s footer). I look forward to connecting with you and reading your insights as I prepare for next week's adventure.

With Love,

Jamelah Luckett

*If you need immediate resources, I have provided some below. Please reach out for help, your life is precious, and I love you too much to lose you to the struggle.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse or mental health challenges, here are some resources that are helpful:

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline
• https://www.thehotline.org/ 
• 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• Loveisrespect
• https://www.loveisrespect.org/ 
• 1-866-331-9474
• The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
• https://www.nami.org/
• 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
• The Crisis Text Line
• Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the US, anytime, about any type of crisis.

P.S.- On a personal note, I recently had the opportunity to experience a bit of Garrain Jones through his Zoom Workshop, and his charisma and passion is truly inspiring. He has a workshop coming up next month in June, north of Austin, TX, focused on empowering artistic and creative individuals – something that resonates deeply with my own journey of exploring my inner child. If you're interested in joining me (or even if you're just curious!), you can sign up through this >>Link<<

As a big bonus, if you sign up through this link, you'll get 50% off, and it will also help me get funds towards my trip or a future trip with this group. It's a win-win situation!