regardless of how much time you have, is 10,000% possible? And that you should be striving to do so each and every day? We should be celebrating ourselves in the highs, in the lows, for a reason, or for no reason at all.

As the "Month of the Self" comes to an end, I believe loving yourself is the most stable foundation you can build, one that no one can ever take from you. It's the perfect topic to round off the month with, and it empowers you to show up for yourself in a profound way.

This is why we started at the beginning, with our Inner Child,  where we learned to care for the parts of ourselves that have never gone away. Then we learned how to set Boundaries to  protect our inner innocence. From there, we uncovered our Inherent Birthright—the truth that just existing is enough to justify why we are worthy of it all. Each topic we’ve discussed this month started with the core act of loving ourselves and understanding that while we are not "perfect," we deserve the best quality of life possible.

So get your favorite drink, take a deep breath, cozy up, and prepare to learn how to support yourself in all parts of life.

Why We Struggle: The Conditional Nature of Love

Modern society tells us we are only as valuable as the work we produce. This narrative has been passed down for generations, leaving us feeling empty and confused. It leads us to abandon ourselves to please others, to neglect our boundaries just to receive love, and to believe we have to look or act a certain way to be "perfect" and worthy of love. But all of this couldn't be further from the truth. You are worthy of love, affection, and to be cherished for who you are. You don't need to do anything special to deserve it; you are a beautifully imperfect person who deserves love.

Redefining Self-Love: Beyond Perfection

In situations where we feel vulnerable, scared, or ungrounded, we have a tendency, as humans, to abandon ourselves. When we need ourselves the most, we dismiss our needs, our inner child, and our boundaries. It's overwhelming, I know, but this is not the time to walk away. This is the time to lean into yourself, go inward, and listen to what your inner wisdom has to say. This is the way to inner guidance and peace.

Redefining Self-Love: Beyond Bubble Baths

Self-love is so much deeper than just a bubble bath, a spa day, or a good TV show. While all of these things are wonderful and can add joy to our lives, true self-love is far more profound.

It's the act of checking in with yourself, seeing where you need to enforce and adapt your boundaries, and showing up even when it's uncomfortable. It's about giving yourself compassion and holding yourself with tender love, especially when you feel like you've failed or are struggling. This way of showing up for yourself is similar to reparenting—you become the unconditional, unwavering parent you deserve.

Your ability to pick yourself up off the ground when you fall, to clean your wound, and to bandage yourself so you can heal will change your life. It is in these moments that you build a foundational self-trust that will serve you in every situation.

Loving Yourself in the Lows: Your Compass Through the Storm

Any adventure begins with acknowledging that it's okay not to be okay. Most of the time, things need to be not okay before we choose to make a change. It's this pain point that causes us to awaken the need to do something different. When we recognize that a change needs to come forth, we can start by activating our inner tools.

Activate Your Inner Parent

In this capacity, you can begin by checking in with your inner child, seeing what they need, and providing them with unconditional love and support. The main thing you can do is to offer comfort, safety, and reassurance to that part of you that is innocent and raw. In this way, you can feed that part of you that has been pent up, opening yourself up to creativity, playfulness, and a genuine eagerness to learn.

Revisit Your Boundaries

Your inner parent also helps you establish and enforce boundaries. The child is not able to fully regulate yet, and your adult self can recognize when your inner child needs to be protected or needs to take a step back. This process allows you to protect your energy and mental battery. It is critically important that your inner parent shows up even when it's tough, and not to abandon yourself with distractions or by suppressing your emotions. When you consistently show up for yourself, enforcing your boundaries and facilitating your inner child, you begin to build a deep self-trust—a foundational part of the self-love journey. I truly believe that love breeds trust, and continued trust deepens that love.

Practice Small Acts of Kindness

Even when you are having a rough time or experiencing difficulties, you can show up with small acts of kindness for yourself, like gentle movements, quiet time, nourishing foods, journaling, or even reaching out to a safe person. When we show up in this way, we are giving ourselves the things our bodies naturally crave. We thrive through well-rounded actions that collectively feed the mind, body, and soul.

Embrace Progress, Not Perfection

Have compassion for yourself when you're dealing with life's difficulties. Not having it all figured out is just a part of the human experience. When we focus on perfection, we tend to procrastinate and get stuck. Remember, it is about progress over perfection. And progress doesn’t look like a straight line; it's more like a beautiful, scribble masterpiece from a two-year-old.

Loving Yourself in the Highs: Celebrating Without Conditions

Loving yourself in the highs is just as crucial as it is in the lows. When we are feeling good, we must be present and show up for ourselves in a way that protects that high energy. This isn't about temporary happiness; it's a deep appreciation for where you are and how far you've come.

The highs are the perfect time to reflect on your journey and celebrate the effort it has demanded of you—not just the outcome. When you take the time to fully enjoy your growth, you begin to appreciate yourself more and more. This simple act provides you with the knowledge of just how capable and resilient you are.

By building up this understanding, you create a reserve of inner strength to draw from during challenges. Much like in a video game, as you grow stronger, the smaller, less severe difficulties simply become minor inconveniences on your path.

The Unwavering Anchor: Your Inherent Worth

You are worthy, and no one can bestow or take that away from you. You are worthy of every high moment, every act of kindness, every beautiful thing you experience, and every profound moment of just being. When you choose to love yourself, you are choosing you. This love you forge for yourself is a non-negotiable form of self-worth and a powerful anchor to keep you steady.

In my first-ever self-love post, I made the statement, “The moment we stop caring for ourselves is the moment we stop loving ourselves.” I still stand by that, and I also believe the inverse is true. When we love ourselves, we provide ourselves with the care and uplift we deserve. This is a catalyst in itself, skyrocketing your growth to new and boundless heights. It’s like a night and day difference. I know because I used to struggle with loving and accepting myself. When I began to fully embrace my self-worth, my growth became exponential. Truly, the love you exude for yourself will act as a testament to your inherent worth.

Conclusion: A Lifelong Promise to Yourself

The journey of consistent self-love through all of life's experiences is just that, a journey—ever evolving, unfolding, and forming into a way of life that you will be practicing until your last breath. The goal here is progress, not perfection, and to remember that you are always growing and developing. What you do today may not be what you need to do next month or even next year.

With this knowledge, you gain a profound freedom. Knowing you'll always be there for yourself, especially in the face of adversity, is one of the most powerful things you can do. This magnificent connection with yourself acts as a shield that no one can penetrate without your permission, freeing you from the fear of the external world.

With the end of the "Month of the Self," I want to leave you with this powerful mantra. Repeat after me:

“The love I have for myself protects, guides, and nourishes me.

My worth is not dependent on others; it is my birthright.”

With that, our adventure for today comes to an end.

My goal is simply to be a vessel, sharing the lessons and insights from my own path in the hopes that they may serve as a guide on your own. If this message found you at just the right time and resonated with you, I consider our connection a profound success. Whether our paths cross just this once or intertwine beautifully, know that I am here as a comrade and a friend on this journey.

I truly hope you feel seen, supported, and hopeful as you continue on your way. You are welcome to share your thoughts in the comments below or reach out directly to me. If you feel called to support this work and its mission, you can find the donation page linked in the site's footer. I look forward to connecting with you on this magnificent adventure.

With Love and Light,

Jamelah Luckett

Link to Companion YouTube Video